Take These Broken Wings and Learn to Fly
by castielofasgard
Summary: God made the angels to guard over the Earth, not to be soldiers. But Lucifer's fall changed everything and the family in Heaven became dysfunctional at best. Unable to stand the fighting, Gabriel runs from home to try his luck on Earth and has an adventure that lasts for centuries. (Gabriel's POV with occasional chapters from Cas and Balthazar)
1. Chapter 1 – In the Beginning

**Chapter 1 – In The Beginning**

In the beginning, while the Earth was still being made, God created the first angels. They were not soldiers originally, like they are now. They were simply God's companions, his children, peaceful and kind, well-deserving of the phrase "guardian angel" for that is what they were created to become – the guardians of the Earth. They started as just four brothers, devoted to their Father who planned to raise them into the four most respected angels in Heaven: the archangels.

The oldest brother was named Michael. He was proud and strong-willed, prepared to do anything God told him to do. He proved to be the perfect little soldier in the years to follow, when God's plans were turned on their head.

The second oldest was Lucifer. He was quiet, calm, and collected, incredibly smart and very opinionated. His love and devotion to his Father was unrivaled, almost to a flaw. He could not imagine loving any other thing in Creation as much as his Father, not even his other three brothers, whom he did indeed love very much.

Next was Raphael. Like Michael, he was very proud and obedient to God. He took his role as an archangel very seriously and felt very obligated to always do his duty. Despite his pride, Raphael did not really care what others thought of him on first glance, so long as his dignity was still intact.

The youngest brother was named Gabriel. He was very different from his three older brothers. They were all much more serious than he was and driven by their pride of being archangels. Gabriel was playful and teasing, a bit rebellious, and slightly cocky. He got along best with Lucifer, who taught him every trick he knew and thought his little brother's spunk was charming. Gabriel loved his Father and was willing to obey him, despite his own rebellious nature. But what set him apart from his brothers the most was his fascination with Earth. He thought his Father's creation was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and could never get enough of just watching it.

It started when he was very young, just a fledgling, playing atop the puffs of clouds as his Father watched over him. Gabriel got tired and flopped down near the edge of a cloud. From there, he had the perfect view of the Earth down below and he was mesmerized. As he grew older, he kept returning to the clouds so he could gaze down at the Earth. As he learned to fly, he waited for the day when his wings were strong enough that he could fly down to Earth and see it all up close. But when he went on his first real flight with Lucifer, his older brother forbid it.  
"It's too dangerous. You're too young," he said.  
Gabriel listened to his brother, but he was heartbroken. Still, every day, he went out and sat on a cloud and just watched the Earth, wishing he could go down and explore but afraid that Lucifer would get angry at him and tell Father. Despite being rebellious and extremely clever, he never dreamed that Lucifer would not be relaying to him their Father's direct orders and he would never truly disobey anything God commanded.

Soon God began making more angels. Michael, Lucifer, and Raphael helped him raise their new siblings, but Gabriel was always off among the clouds, daydreaming of Earth. One day, when he was gazing down at what would eventually be northern Russia, God came to find him.  
"Gabriel, my son," he said.  
The young archangel stood up immediately and turned to face him.  
"Yes, Father?"  
"You have spent far too much time on this cloud," God said. "Your brothers have been helping me raise the new angels. Now it is your turn."  
"Me? Raise angels? I'm hardly qualified, I'm the youngest. I've never had to look after anyone, even myself. Lucifer always did that for me," Gabriel protested.  
"You've looked over the Earth, haven't you?" said God.  
"Yes, but that's different. The Earth is... well... a thing. Angels... my own siblings..." Gabriel trailed off.  
"I think you'll find it is not so very different. Come, son, and meet your new brother."  
Gabriel followed God back into heaven. They walked up to Michael, who was holding a tiny angel whose wings had not even begun to grow in. God took the baby from Michael and held him out to Gabriel, who took him nervously.  
"This is Balthazar," said God. "He will be your first charge. I know you will take good care of him."  
Gabriel looked up at his Father uncertainly.  
"Are you sure?" he asked.  
"Absolutely. Trust me, Gabriel," said God.  
Gabriel nodded and looked back down at the little angel in his arms. He had sandy blonde hair and blue-grey eyes that crinkled in the corners as he smiled wonderingly up at his big brother. Gabriel couldn't help but smile back.  
"Hello Balthazar," he murmured. "I hope you're ready for an adventure."


	2. Chapter 2 – Raised Side by Side

**Chapter 2 – Raised Side by Side**

It wasn't long before Gabriel discovered that Balthazar was the best thing that had ever happened to him. The little angel even made him forget to daydream about Earth for a while. He laughed and smiled easily and was completely attached to Gabriel within a day. Gabriel had nothing but love for his baby brother and devoted his every waking hour to him. They even shared a bed, falling asleep every night with Balthazar's tiny hands wrapped around just one of Gabriel's fingers. When Balthazar's wings began to grow in (a process which is basically to angels as teething is to humans), Gabriel gave him back massages and sweets and put up with almost all his whining.

Balthazar was just past the worst of this stage when God approached Gabriel again.  
"I have a second charge for you," he said. "I know you already have Balthazar, but your older brothers have their hands full and I think you are ready to take on another responsibility."  
This time, Gabriel did not argue. He just took Balthazar's hand and followed his Father. This time it was Raphael who waited for them with the new angel.  
"His name is Castiel," said God. "I know you will care for him well."  
"Thank you, Father. He'll be safe with me," said Gabriel, taking the baby angel.  
Castiel was even smaller than Balthazar had been, and a lot quieter, Gabriel could tell that already. He had extremely dark hair that stood up every which way and eyes bluer than the brightest summer sky. The tiny angel tilted his head and squinted his eyes curiously. Gabriel grinned and crouched down.  
"Balthazar, meet your baby brother Castiel," he said.  
"Hullo, Ca-Cas-Cast... how do you say his name?" Balthazar said, tripping over the syllables.  
"Castiel," said Gabriel. "But why don't you just call him Cas?"  
Balthazar nodded.  
"Hullo Cas," he tried again, grinning at how much easier this nickname was.  
He looked closely at his brother as though inspecting him.  
"His eyes are so blue!" he observed. "They're like the bluest blue to ever blue!"  
Gabriel laughed and baby Castiel cracked the first hint of a tiny smile.  
"I guess that's a pretty accurate description," he said, straightening up and holding out his free hand for Balthazar. "Come on, let's go home."

Gabriel had been right when he guessed that Castiel was much quieter than Balthazar. He seemed a bit shy, despite still being just a baby, and seemed perfectly content just watching his brothers. He hardly ever laughed, but both Gabriel and Balthazar could get him to smile. This was something they were both proud of because no one else seemed to have that ability.

By the time Castiel's wings began to grow in, Balthazar had started learning to fly. Gabriel would often ask one of his older brothers to keep an eye on Castiel while he taught Balthazar. During these flying lessons, he would glance back to check on Castiel so frequently it sometimes looked like he had a tick. But the little blue-eyed angel was always just sitting next to whichever of the archangels had agreed to look after him, watching Gabriel and Balthazar flying.

When it came to be Castiel's turn to learn to fly, he had both of his older brothers there with him. Balthazar wasn't exactly graceful in the air yet, but he was eager to help Gabriel with Castiel's flying lessons. After each session, the three brothers would sit together on the clouds and just watch Earth. Castiel seemed to have inherited Gabriel's fascination with the place, because he would always ask Gabriel about it, and specifically about the humans. Gabriel was sorry he couldn't answer more of his brother's questions. He still had not visited Earth.  
"Lucifer doesn't like the humans though," said Castiel one day. "Why not?"  
"Because Father wants us to love them like we love him," said Gabriel. "Lucifer thinks loving the humans is a sin."  
"Do you?" asked Balthazar.  
"No. I think that anything Father makes is worthy of love. Including humans. Maybe especially humans. They're one of Father's favorite creations after all."  
"I want to meet a human," said Castiel.  
"Maybe one day you will," Gabriel said with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3 – Trouble in Paradise

**Chapter 3 – Trouble in Paradise**

The day had come. Today was Castiel's first real flight. And Gabriel was considering something risky. Something he hadn't dared to do since Lucifer had forbidden him to on the day of his own first flight. He was considering taking Castiel and Balthazar to visit Earth. Gabriel sat on the edge of his bed, wringing his hands and flexing his wings, more indecisive than he'd been about anything in his entire life. The door suddenly swung open and Castiel and Balthazar pranced in. Balthazar was grinning proudly and Castiel's wings were quivering with excitement.  
"Are you ready, Gabriel?" Cas asked breathlessly.  
"You bet I am!" he replied, standing up.  
"Where are we going to fly to?" the youngest angel asked.  
"It's a surprise," said Gabriel, his golden eyes twinkling playfully but his stomach twisting in anxious knots. "Just follow me!"

Gabriel led them to a cloud in the least stormy bit of sky he could find and peered down. He wanted to make sure the conditions were easy to fly in because he knew the flight itself would be difficult. Below he could see some tall mountain ranges in what would later be New Zealand. Gabriel took a deep breath.  
"Alright, boys," he said, turning to them. "This is gonna be new for all of us, myself included. So stick together and just follow me."  
"Where are we going?" asked Balthazar.  
"Earth," said Gabriel, a true genuine smile spreading across his face.  
He turned back to the edge of the cloud and beckoned Balthazar and Castiel to his side.  
"Are you ready, Cas?" he asked.  
Castiel just nodded. His face was screwed up in concentration but a hint of a grin played on his mouth.  
"Well, here goes nothing!" said Gabriel.  
He leapt from the cloud, tucking his wings close to his body in a dive, then spreading them to control his descent. He glanced back and saw Balthazar following a bit clumsily and Castiel not far after, flapping his wings a bit more than necessary. Turning back to face front, Gabriel laughed jubilantly. He was doing it at last. He was going to visit Earth.

The descent was much longer than he had anticipated and by the time he swooped onto the mountain, even his wings were tired. Balthazar was panting and flexing his wings and Castiel had landed rather poorly and had to pick himself up off the ground.  
"Not bad, not bad at all! Everybody feeling alright?" Gabriel said, breathless from the flight and excitement.  
Balthazar and Castiel both nodded, still catching their breath. Gabriel looked around. He could see so far, the plains and hills and a darkish blur in the distance that might have been a forest. The mountain they had landed on was rocky but not high enough that it still got snow during the summer. Gabriel regretted that they couldn't have gone somewhere with grass but he knew that would have been too much for Castiel and was a project for another day. Balthazar and Castiel joined Gabriel at the edge of the mountain top.  
"Isn't it beautiful?" he said.  
"It really is," agreed Balthazar.  
"I would never get bored of this," said Castiel.  
They stood in silent awe for a while, just taking in the beautiful view. Gabriel sighed and realized very suddenly that there were tears in his eyes. He hurriedly wiped them away, but not before Balthazar had noticed. He had always had sharp eyes.  
"You alright, Gabe?" he asked.  
"I'm fine. More than fine. It's just... I've dreamed of visiting Earth since I was a fledgling. And now I have and... it's more beautiful than I expected," Gabriel replied.  
"Do you think we could go see the humans?" asked Castiel.  
"Maybe another day. For now, we should get back to heaven," said Gabriel. "You both ready for the trip back upstairs?"  
"I think so," said Cas.  
"Well if you need help, just grab my hand. The same goes for you, Balthazar," said Gabriel.  
"Got it!" said Balthazar.  
Gabriel stretched his wings to their full span and shot into the air. He checked on the other two briefly to make sure they had taken off alright, then led the way back up to heaven.

At last they came to the cloud they had left from and landed wearily. Castiel looked absolutely exhausted and Balthazar's wings were drooping.  
"Good job, boys. You both did great," said Gabriel, ruffling their hair affectionately.  
He turned around and found himself face to face with Lucifer, whose arms were folded across his chest and who looked very cross.  
"Where have you been? You've been gone nearly five hours," he said, his tone carefully calm.  
"It's not your business, is it?" said Gabriel.  
"Not my business?" Lucifer repeated. "You were supposed to be back three hours ago! Michael and Raphael have been searching the skies for you three. I was the only one who had any idea where you'd really gone."  
"And where was that?" Gabriel asked challengingly.  
"Earth, Gabriel. You went to Earth, didn't you?" said Lucifer, taking a step closer to his younger brother.  
"So what if I did?" said Gabriel. "Why shouldn't I take my charges wherever I please on a first flight? You certainly did."  
"You knowingly took your younger brothers into dangerous territory! Earth is not safe for angels, the humans –"  
"– are Father's creations!" Gabriel cut across. "Just like us!"  
"Come with me," said Lucifer suddenly.  
"Why?" Gabriel demanded.  
"When did you become so willful?" Lucifer said.  
"I've always been this way," said Gabriel. "We've just never disagreed until now. Lead on."

He held his hands out for Balthazar and Castiel to take as they followed Lucifer to where God, Michael, and Raphael waited. All of them looked relieved to see the three angels trailing behind Lucifer.  
"Where have you three been?" asked God, walking to them with open arms.  
"They were on Earth, Father," said Lucifer, the anger apparent in his voice.  
"I see no problem in that," said God. "I do however wish you had told me where you were going, Gabriel. We've all been worried sick."  
"I'm sorry, Father, I just... I didn't think that we were actually allowed to go to Earth and... I didn't want to make you angry..." said Gabriel, sounding uncharacteristically sheepish.  
"Whatever gave you that idea?" God asked in mild surprise.  
"I...well..." Gabriel glanced at Lucifer, not really wanting to rat his brother out, but also furious at him now that he knew he'd been lied to. "I wanted to go to Earth on my first flight, but Lucifer said it wasn't allowed."  
"You said that to him?" said Michael disgustedly.  
"Yes, I did," said Lucifer, sounding almost proud of it. "I wanted to protect him. But it seems he was determined to corrupt himself and dragged his charges along with him."  
"Protect him from what exactly?" Michael asked, though he looked almost as though he knew the answer.  
"The humans! They failed our Father, they gave into temptation! And now Gabriel has gone and done the same. Earth was to you as the fruit of the Tree was to them," Lucifer hissed, turning on his younger brother with a venomous glare.  
Gabriel took a deep, shaky breath, trying not to let the sting of his brother's words break him.  
"Balthazar, take your brother and go," he murmured. "Go home and wait for me there."  
Balthazar nodded and wordlessly took Castiel's hand, leaving the room, but not without looking back at his older brother sadly. When the two young angels had left, Gabriel turned back to Lucifer, his face suddenly showing all the anger he had held back while Balthazar and Castiel were still present.  
"You lied to me, Lucifer! You told me I wasn't allowed to go to Earth, let me think that it was because Father forbid it. But no, it was you, all you! It was just you and your stupid prejudices, your stupid, biased opinions! What makes you think you're so much better than the humans, eh, Lucifer? Answer me that!" Gabriel snarled.  
"Gabriel, please," said God calmly. "Let me handle this."  
He turned to his second oldest angel, miraculously calm but obviously saddened.  
"Lucifer, I commanded all of my angels to love humanity as you love me, to devote yourselves to them. Why do you refuse?" he said.  
"How could I love such creatures more than my own Father? How could I love these flawed beasts that forsook you? How can you even ask that of me?" Lucifer pleaded.  
"Because I asked you to, my son. You should love them because you love me," said God.  
"I couldn't do that. I never could, you know that. They betrayed you, Father, they disobeyed you and fell into evil and darkness and sin!" said Lucifer desperately.  
"Father commanded us to love them, to watch over them! And you lied to Gabriel, telling him that Earth is dangerous, forbidding him to go there! Did you seek to drag him down with you?" Michael suddenly shouted, striding forward so quickly it was as if he materialized in front of Lucifer.  
"I sought to keep him safe from the foolishness that the rest of you were succumbing to!" Lucifer retorted. "But it turns out he is more a fool for those humans than any of you are!"  
"Please, Lucifer, I didn't even meet any humans, we were just in the mountains..." said Gabriel.  
"Keep out of this, Gabriel!" snapped Lucifer.  
"You brought me into this in the first place!" Gabriel shot back.  
"Lucifer, I think you've done enough damage to Gabriel already, back off," said Michael dangerously.  
"Excuse me, 'enough damage'? What am I, some sort of toy that he's played with a bit too rough?" said Gabriel.  
"Keep out of it, Gabriel!" Michael said impatiently.  
"All I have ever done is try to keep our family safe, Michael. I tried to protect Gabriel from the dangers of Earth and I have done nothing but love our Father. Why should I be ostracized for this?" said Lucifer.  
"That's just it, Lucifer, there are no dangers on Earth! Or at least none that could hurt an archangel! You've tried too hard to shelter Gabriel and forget that he's not a child! And most importantly, you forget Father's orders!" Michael said.  
"I do not forget his orders. I remember them clearly. I remember when he told us to love him and devote ourselves to him, and I have followed that order every single day. But I will never submit myself to the devotion of those failed, broken experiments," Lucifer hissed.  
Michael opened his mouth to speak again, but God stepped between them with his arms raised and none of the archangels dared say a word.  
"ENOUGH, my sons!" he shouted, his voice suddenly powerful and angry. "That is enough. Michael is right, Lucifer. You have directly defied my greatest command. I created the archangels to guard the Earth, including humanity, and you disobeyed me. My son, I have but one choice. You shall be cast out of heaven and into hell, where you shall rule over the dead in humanity who have fallen from my commandments as you have, and there you will remain for all eternity until the great apocalypse comes and the world falls."  
Lucifer's eyes widened in horror and he reached out to God.  
"No, Father please," he begged. "Please don't do this!"  
"I am sorry, my son," God said sorrowfully.  
He placed a hand on Lucifer's forehead and a bright light began to grow from his palm, engulfing the archangel. Gabriel's heart suddenly leapt into his throat and he lunged toward his brother only to be held back by Raphael.  
"Lucifer!" he called desperately.  
But it was too late. The golden light faded away and Lucifer was gone.


	4. Chapter 4 – When Time Doesn't Mend

**Chapter 4 – When Time Doesn't Mend, It Breaks**

Gabriel fell to his knees, Raphael's arm still gripping him tightly across the chest though he had given up struggling almost the moment his brother held him back. He stared at the place Lucifer had been just a moment before, tears falling slowly down his cheeks.  
"Father, please... please bring him back..." he begged weakly.  
"I can't," said God.  
Gabriel looked up at him, his expression one of betrayed sorrow, almost like a puppy who's been kicked.  
"Why?" he sobbed.  
"What's done is done, Gabriel," God said.  
"But why did you have to cast him out in the first place? We could have reasoned with him!" said Gabriel.  
"No, we could not," said God. "Trust me, Michael and I have tried. We have tried to make him see the error in his prideful hate for humanity many times. But it was his lie to you that was the final straw."  
Gabriel swallowed hard and stood up, letting Raphael help him to his feet.  
"I know this is hard, my son, but please try to understand," God continued gently. "And remember that you have done nothing wrong. You may go."  
Gabriel nodded and stared at God for a moment. He wanted nothing more than for his Father to pull him into his powerful arms and comfort him, but God had never shown that sort of affection for his archangels and Gabriel didn't expect him to change that now. So he turned on his heel and trudged home.

He opened the door to find his two little brothers waiting for him. He had barely entered the room when Balthazar walked up to him and gave him a hug.  
"We're sorry that we got you in trouble, Gabe," he said, his voice slightly muffled in his brother's shirt.  
"No, Balthazar, it's not your fault," said Gabriel gently, crouching down so he was more at the two young angels' level. "And I'm not in trouble."  
"Then why was Lucifer angry with you?" Castiel asked.  
"Lucifer was wrong," said Gabriel, his tears suddenly returning and choking him.  
"What's wrong?" asked Balthazar, alarmed by the archangel's tears.  
"Lucifer...is gone. Father sent him out of heaven," Gabriel explained.  
"When will he be coming back?" asked Castiel, tilting his head to the side in confusion.  
"He's not. He's never coming back," Gabriel said.  
Then he completely broke down. He buried his face in his hands, sobbing so hard his entire body shook, right down to the tips of his wings. He felt two pairs of small warm arms wrap around him as Balthazar and Castiel tried their best to comfort him, and he gripped them both close to him as though they would vanish in a burst of light like Lucifer had if he ever let them go.

Years and years went by. As they flew, things in heaven only got worse. Even with Lucifer gone, the angels still fought. Gabriel could hardly bear it. The family that God had created was slowly becoming an army. Things on Earth were bad too. Some of the angels were beginning to wonder if maybe Lucifer had been right about the humans, but none of them dared speak their minds on this after what had happened to the fallen archangel.

Balthazar and Castiel grew up, and grew up well. Gabriel was proud of how well he had raised them, but he was worried for them too. Both had earned respectable positions in a division of heaven's army headed by an angel named Anna. Gabriel only knew who she was because Lucifer had raised her. This made him rather nervous when he heard that his boys had been assigned to her division, but his fears were soon reprieved. Balthazar and Castiel were quick to assure him that Anna had not inherited Lucifer's hatred for humanity and that instead, she was quite interested in it. As much as Gabriel hated that his little brothers were being forced to become soldiers, he was at least glad that their commander was decent.

Time went on and eventually, things got so bad down on Earth that God had to take serious action. He sent Gabriel down as a messenger to a young virgin named Mary to tell her she would be the mother of the Savior. Gabriel was glad of the excuse to visit Earth again for the first time since Lucifer's fall, and to actually see some of humanity this time, even if it was just one girl. But he found Mary's initial disbelief and her faithful acceptance endearing. He knew not all humans were like her, or else the world wouldn't need a savior, but he really hoped that there were plenty of others just as good.

But though the whole Savior business was good news for Earth, it turned out to be quite the opposite for heaven. After Jesus returned to his Father, God disappeared and none of the angels ever heard from him. With an absent father, the fighting got worse and showed no signs of slowing down.

Finally, Gabriel had enough. He loved his family and hated to see them like this. So he made his choice. He decided to leave heaven. It was late at night when he left. Balthazar and Castiel were asleep, in separate beds now that they were grown up, and neither woke as Gabriel looked at them both one last time before silently closing the door behind him. He left a hastily scribbled note for Michael –  
"_Do not come looking for me. I'm safe. I just had to go. –Gabriel._"  
– then went out to the clouds. He had already made contact with the man who would be his vessel on Earth and gotten his approval. He took a deep breath and glanced back, knowing this was the last time he would see heaven, maybe forever. He closed his eyes and braced himself, then he descended to Earth.

Gabriel felt an immense heat, then everything was normal. His eyes flew open and he glanced around. He was on Earth. He let his gaze drop and he inspected his vessel. The hands, arms, legs... there was a clear, still pond a few yards off and he rushed to it, staring at his reflection.  
"Not bad. Not bad at all," he muttered to himself. "I chose a good vessel."  
Gabriel looked around again, taking in his surroundings. Suddenly, he grinned. No one here knew who he was. No one knew his real name. In fact, it was safer that they didn't. He could make an entire life for himself here on Earth, completely separate from his life in heaven, and he could make it exactly as he wanted it to be. No one would expect anything of him. There were no rules. He was free.


	5. Chapter 5 – Care Too Much

**Chapter 5 – Care Too Much**

"Michael! Michael!"  
The archangel turned around as Balthazar ran up to him, Castiel close on his heels.  
"Have you seen Gabriel? We've looked for him everywhere but we can't find him," he asked.  
"You won't find him here," said Michael. "Gabriel is gone. He has left heaven."  
"He left?! But why?" Castiel said.  
"I don't know. I found this note this morning," Michael replied, handing them a scrap of paper.  
Balthazar took it and the two brothers read it quickly.  
"What does he mean he 'just had to go'? He...he didn't even say goodbye," said Castiel.  
"If you ask me, I'd say it was cowardly of him to leave," said Michael.  
"Gabriel is many things, but he is NOT a coward!" Balthazar snapped, suddenly defensive. "He didn't leave because he was scared, he left because he hated what had become of our family!"  
"I always thought it was a shame to let Gabriel raise you two. You both care too much, just like he always did," Michael said.  
"How dare you–" Castiel snarled.  
He stepped forward but Balthazar grabbed his arm and gripped it tight. Castiel looked at him indignantly but his older brother just slowly started to lead him away from the archangel.  
"Thank you, Michael," Balthazar said coldly, then turned and strode away, dragging his younger brother with him.

When they had left Michael far behind them, Balthazar finally let go of his grip on Castiel's arm. They stood in silence for several minutes before Castiel finally spoke.  
"First Lucifer, then Father, now Gabriel. Why does everyone just leave?"  
"Because maybe Michael's a little bit right," said Balthazar sadly. "They all cared too much, and when you care about something, sometimes it hurts too much to stay."


	6. Chapter 6 – They Call Me Loki

**Chapter 6 – They Call Me Loki**

~ Five Years Later ~

It was dark and stormy in the little Indian village that night. Gabriel had arrived in the middle of the square to find himself in a deluge of rain. He rushed into the closest building and shook the water from his hair, glancing around him. It was a small Hindu temple. At the end of the room was an altar bearing candles and an alarming statue. In front of this altar stood a woman, her back to him. She didn't appear to have noticed that someone else had entered the temple. Gabriel walked tentatively forward and cleared his throat.  
"Um, excuse me? Ma'am? I hate to interrupt..." he began.  
The woman turned around and fixed him with a penetrating stare that caught him off guard.  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on you praying, I just –"  
"I wasn't praying," the woman said.  
"You weren't?" said Gabriel, confused. "Then why are you in the temple?"  
"I am collecting prayers," she replied.  
"C-collecting...prayers...?" Gabriel repeated.  
He suddenly realized that this wasn't an ordinary woman at all and was thinking it was high time he made a break for it.  
"Yes. My name is Kali. This is my temple," the woman said.  
"Your temple... so that statue..." Gabriel said, pointing at the frightening stone image.  
"Yes, that is me, in my true form," said Kali.  
"Why are you telling me all this?" asked Gabriel.  
"Because I can tell that you are not just a man. You also are very obviously not from around here," Kali replied. "So... who are you?"  
"They call me Loki," said Gabriel, giving her the identity he had decided for himself. "The god of mischief. Some cultures know me simply as the Trickster."  
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Loki. I believe I have heard about some of your exploits," said Kali.  
"All good things I hope," Gabriel said with a grin.  
He was beginning to feel a bit less wary, despite being in the presence of what he knew was a very powerful goddess, and felt rather drawn to her in spite of himself.  
"Well, when you make your name as a Trickster, word is going to get out of the good and the bad," Kali said.  
"Ah, yes, you probably heard about the Sicily fiasco, didn't you?" sighed Gabriel.  
"Yes, I did," said Kali. "You ought to be a bit more cautious."  
"It was a bad day," muttered Gabriel vaguely.  
This had been true. That day in Sicily had been the second anniversary of the day he left heaven, a date that never left him in a good mood. In fact, today was that very day, the fifth year since he ran away from home.  
"I was wondering," said Gabriel suddenly. "If maybe I could stay the night here. I've been traveling by myself for so long and I... I just don't want to be alone tonight..."  
"I have plenty of rooms beneath my temple. You are more than welcome to stay in one of them," Kali replied.  
"Thank you so much," Gabriel said.  
Kali just smiled mysteriously and picked up a candle.  
"Follow me."

She led Gabriel down a hidden staircase to the secret corridors beneath the temple, lighting the lamps as she went. The hallways were ornately decorated with gilded murals illustrating scenes from Hindu legend. Kali stopped in front of a door and pushed it open.  
"You can rest here. My room is just across the hall if you need anything. And you are free to stay as long as you need," she said.  
"I really can't thank you enough," Gabriel said.  
"There is no need," said Kali. "Just don't try any funny business and all will be well."  
"I'm a Trickster, sweetheart, funny business is sort of my job," Gabriel chuckled.  
"That is not quite what I was referring to. I more meant that I have had far too many foreign deities coming on to me for my liking," Kali said warningly.  
"No worries there, ma'am. I'm no Zeus. I know how to keep my sexual urges at bay," laughed Gabriel.  
"You've met Zeus?" Kali asked skeptically.  
"I sure have. He's a wild one though, I'll tell you that. Whoever gave him the throne of Olympus is probably spinning in their grave," said Gabriel.  
Kali smiled, and Gabriel thought she might have almost laughed.  
"Perhaps you can tell me about more of your adventures in the morning," she said. "I can tell that you are tired from your journey. Get some rest."  
"Thank you again, Kali. Good night," said Gabriel.  
"Good night, Loki," Kali said, then crossed the hall and entered her own room, shutting the door behind her.  
Gabriel smiled a bit to himself before stepping into his room and looking around. It was small but comfortable, furnished with a large bed, a simple chair, and a shelf full of books. Gabriel dropped his pack on the floor, tossed his wet cloak over the chair, and flopped backwards onto the bed. He stared at the ceiling for a while before sitting up and kicking off his mud-caked boots. He walked into the little washroom through the door in the corner to clean some of the dirt and mud from his face, then stared at himself in the chipped mirror above the sink, water still dripping from his nose and chin.

Five years. That's how long he'd been on Earth. It felt like just yesterday that he'd seen Balthazar and Castiel in heaven, and yet it also felt like so much longer. Gabriel gripped the edge of the basin tighter until his knuckles whitened. The anniversary of that night had always been the hardest day of the year for him, and he had never managed to keep himself together on it. The first year, he got so drunk that he'd since forgotten where on Earth he even was that day. The second year was the Sicily incident, which had nearly resulted in the destruction of the entire island. He preferred not to think about that one. The third year he had decided to avoid anything that might destroy a civilization, so instead he went to a brothel in Rome, hired six prostitutes, and had an orgy. Last year was much like the first, except that in his drunken state he had set fire to half a town, been arrested, and was flogged within an inch of any mortal's life. It was the track record of the last four years that prompted Gabriel to come to India this year and spend the day avoiding anything that would cause trouble that he would regret later. As the self-proclaimed god of mischief, he lived for trouble, but the self- and public- destructive kind that he was prone to on these anniversaries was a kind of trouble he would rather avoid.

Gabriel went back to the bed and threw himself onto it. He didn't normally need to sleep on Earth, but he found that sometimes it was rather enjoyable, and sometimes he even found that he actually had needed it. Tonight seemed to be one of those nights. He was so worn down that he didn't have to coax himself into sleeping like he normally did, but just drifted off.


	7. Chapter 7 – Stay

**Chapter 7 – Stay**

Gabriel had only meant to stay for a few nights, but he couldn't bring himself to leave so soon and those few nights quickly turned into two months. Kali wasn't at all bothered by it; in fact, she seemed to enjoy having him there. But the longer he stayed, the stronger Gabriel felt for her and it was starting to frighten him. Not because he was scared of Kali, but because after everything he'd gone through, he was scared of how much he was allowing himself to care again, and he knew only too well where that always led him.

He knew it was time. He had to leave before it was too late, before he let it get to the point where it would hurt too much. He decided not to say goodbye. After all, he never had before. He hated goodbyes. Though they were underground, Gabriel knew it was dark outside as he threw on his cloak and swung his pack over his shoulder. He glanced over the room one last time before backing out and shutting the door silently behind him. He turned around and found himself face to face with Kali, who gave him a look so reminiscent of the one Lucifer had given him on the day he was cast out that Gabriel actually flinched.  
"And where do you think you're going?" Kali asked.  
"I... I'm... I was just..." Gabriel stammered.  
He was normally so good at lying, but for some reason, he couldn't think straight.  
"You're leaving, aren't you?" said Kali quietly.  
"Yes," mumbled Gabriel.  
"But why? And without saying goodbye?"  
"Because..." Gabriel could barely look her in the eye, but he forced himself to. "Because I'm afraid of getting too close. Every time I care about someone, something bad happens and someone leaves. So I'm getting out before I start to care too much and ruin something else."  
"Loki, I think I can handle just about any misfortune that comes tagging along after you," said Kali.  
"I don't doubt that, that's not the problem," said Gabriel. "I just... I can't... I can't allow myself to care so much. Not again. Not after everything that I've destroyed. I can't let myself destroy you too. Damn it, I already care too much, that's just the point! That's why I have to go, because I lo–"  
He stopped short, heart racing, but Kali was having none of it.  
"And finish that?" she prompted.  
Gabriel swallowed hard and stared at her for a moment before continuing, his voice barely a whisper.  
"Because I love you."  
"That's what I thought," Kali said. "And that's why you have to stay."  
Gabriel opened his mouth to speak, but she grabbed the front of his shirt and shut him up with the most passionate kiss he had ever experienced. He was frozen in shock for only a second before he responded hungrily, as though kissing her was the only thing keeping him standing. She slammed him back against the door and they resurfaced for a moment, breathing heavily, before their lips were locked together again. Gabriel fumbled behind him with one hand for the door knob and his fingers met with Kali's as she did the same. The door swung open and they stumbled into the room, slamming it shut behind them. Gabriel dropped his pack and let his cloak fall from his shoulders as Kali began undoing his belt, and neither of them had even fully undressed when they fell onto the bed.

Clothes littered the floor and a tiny beam of sunlight shone through the chink of a window near the ceiling. Gabriel awoke to the sweet smell of Kali's hair. He had one arm around her and her head rested over his heart, an arm sprawled across his bare chest. Gabriel smiled. Maybe it would be worth it to stay. Maybe this time it wouldn't all go wrong, and everything would be alright. Maybe he had actually found someplace on Earth that he could call home.


	8. Chapter 8 – The Past Can Be Deadly

**Chapter 8 – The Past Can Be Deadly**

That very next day, Gabriel moved into Kali's room with her. He could honestly say that he was the happiest he had been in a very long time. She showed him everywhere in India and taught him many things. Some evenings, he would pop off for a little while and return with fine wines and occasionally desserts from far away countries.

Even though Gabriel was happy with Kali, the anniversary of the day he left heaven still haunted him. Though she never asked what had happened to make that date so awful, Kali was always there to comfort him when it came around and with her help it became a little bit easier to bear. But he still had his relapses. On the hundredth year since that night it was particularly hard. The temptation to give up everything he had on Earth and return to heaven was so strong that he stabbed himself in the leg with his own angel blade to weaken himself and then chained his hands to the bedpost so he wouldn't give in. When Kali came in and saw him, she dropped the glasses she was holding.  
"Loki! What have you done?" she cried, hurrying over to unchain him.  
"No... don't... I had to keep myself from going back..." Gabriel mumbled weakly.  
Kali undid the chains and helped him up onto the bed.  
"Shhh, it's alright. I'm here, I'll take care of you," she whispered.  
"M'leg... it hurts..." said Gabriel, his words slurred from the pain.  
"I'll get some things to clean it up. Don't worry, I'll be right back," said Kali gently.  
She hurried out and was back in minutes with a basin of water and some clean cloths and bandages. She then knelt on the bed next to him and began tending his leg. Gabriel knew that she had seen the light of his grace shimmering out of his wound, but she never asked him about it, for which he was grateful. When his leg was all bandaged and propped up on a pillow, Kali sat next to him and held him close. She told him stories from Hindu legends to distract him from his thoughts, stroking his hair as she spoke, and Gabriel just lay there and listened until he drifted off to sleep in her arms.

After that incident, Kali made sure she stayed with Gabriel on those days and never left his side. But the good days far outnumbered those bad ones, and the years flew by, the world changing around them as decade after decade passed. He never told her his real name or his true identity, but she never asked. She knew he had been through a lot and knew him well enough in other regards to know he wouldn't want to talk about it.

Gabriel stayed with Kali for nearly two hundred years. He would always call those the happiest two centuries he spent on Earth. But inevitably, what he had once been scared of and since forgotten to fear happened. Tricksters attract trouble like a flower attracts bees, and Gabriel had avoided trouble for far too long.

It was a warm night, and Gabriel stood outside the temple watching the stars. He did this whenever he needed to think and Kali knew to leave him alone until he came back inside. Gabriel had been out for an hour and was just turning to go back into the temple when he heard a twig snap and footsteps approaching. He turned back around. Two men were approaching... and yet at the same time, they weren't actually men.  
"Demons," he whispered to himself.  
He could see their true faces from beneath their human masks. He hadn't come across a demon in over two hundred years, since before he met Kali. What were they doing here? The two demons stopped in front of him.  
"Hello Gabriel," the taller one said.  
"How do you know who I am?" asked Gabriel.  
"Our master knows you well," said the second, shorter demon.  
"I'm aware of that. Though I can't say how well I know _him_ anymore," Gabriel said coldly.  
"I'm guessing you know what we are and why we have come," the tall one said.  
"You're demons and, let me guess, you're here to kill me," said Gabriel.  
Both demons smiled sinisterly.  
"Very good," said the shorter demon. "That is in fact our purpose."  
"Yeah well, good luck with that," said Gabriel.  
In a split second, his angel blade was in his hand and he swung it at the demon, who dodged and pulled out a long knife of his own, parrying Gabriel's blade. They dueled for mere seconds before the taller demon grabbed Gabriel from behind, catching him in a headlock. The short demon took advantage of this and knocked the angel blade from Gabriel's hand, sending it spinning into the darkness.  
"Say your prayers, angel-boy," he snarled, drawing back his arm for the fatal blow.  
But Gabriel used the superior height of the demon holding him to his advantage, grabbing the demon's forearm and swinging both his feet to kick the knife from the other demon's hand. As the now even angrier demon scurried to retrieve the weapon, Gabriel struggled against the grip of his captor, whose strength was much more than he had anticipated. The short demon charged at him again and Gabriel steeled himself for his impending death. Suddenly, Kali flew out of nowhere, sending the charging demon up in flames. Gabriel used the momentary distraction and kicked the demon holding him in the groin, wriggling out of his grasp as he doubled over. He then whipped around and placed a palm on the demon's forehead, smiting him before he had a chance to recover. The empty body fell to the ground, eye sockets still smoking, and Gabriel turned to face Kali.  
"Thank you," he said.  
"It was nothing," Kali replied. "What did they want?"  
"To kill me," said Gabriel grimly.  
The truth of the whole matter was sinking in very quickly and he could feel a lump forming in his throat.  
"But why? Who sent them?" Kali asked.  
"Lucifer... they're demons, and he created them. They were human souls once, before he got his hands on them in hell," Gabriel explained.  
"But why would Lucifer send his demons after you?"  
"Because... because I'm the reason he's down there. I'm why he got sent to hell," said Gabriel.  
His eyes were stinging now, but he would not, could not let himself succumb. Kali stared at him.  
"Is that why you fall apart every year? Is that what happened that day all those years ago?" she asked.  
"No... well... that's what started it. What started everything..." Gabriel said quietly.  
His breathing was shallow now as he fought to keep his emotions in check, but he knew he couldn't fight much longer.  
"Do you remember all those years ago, the night you convinced me to stay with you? What I said happens every time I care too much?" he asked suddenly.  
"Yes. You said something bad always happens," said Kali.  
"And then someone always leaves," Gabriel finished.  
"No," Kali said abruptly.  
A single tear escaped Gabriel's eye as he looked at her.  
"I have to," he whispered.  
"No you don't. You don't have to go anywhere," said Kali.  
She wasn't crying but her hands were trembling.  
"Lucifer is only going to send more demons after me, and they won't stop until I'm dead. They know where I am now. I can't put you in danger like that," Gabriel said desperately.  
"You think I can't handle the demons?" Kali challenged.  
"No, of course not! You just saved my life, that son of a bitch didn't stand a chance against you," said Gabriel. "But Kali, as long as I'm here, they'll be able to find me. I have to go into hiding. And I can't take you with me, because then they will always have some way of breaking me. I love you, Kali, and that's why I have to leave. That's why I've always had to leave. Because I just care too damn much."  
Tears were streaming freely down his face, but Kali was still not crying. She looked instead as cold as the statue of her that stood in the temple. But Gabriel could sense the overwhelming sorrow and resignation underneath the stoniness.  
"Where will you go?" she whispered.  
"I don't know. Anywhere. Everywhere," said Gabriel.  
"Will we ever see each other again?" Kali asked.  
"We might not. But then again, you never know. Stranger things have happened," Gabriel said with a feeble attempt at a smile.  
"Be careful. And don't let the darkness of your past swallow you up, even though you're running from part of it now," said Kali, taking his hands in hers.  
"I'll try. For you," Gabriel replied.  
He put a hand on her cheek and kissed her, passionately, hungrily, one last time. As their lips parted, Gabriel stared into her eyes, taking in as much of that gaze as he could.  
"Goodbye, Kali," he whispered.  
"Goodbye, Loki."  
Gabriel turned and picked up his angel blade from the ground, tucking it back into his coat. Then, with a flapping of wings that Kali would not understand until many centuries later, he vanished.


	9. Chapter 9 – Getting On Just Fine

**Chapter 9 – Getting On Just Fine... Well, Sort Of**

So many years had passed since Gabriel left behind his two younger brothers in heaven, and the time and his absence showed on them both. Balthazar was still more inclined to joke and mess around than to be a soldier, but he had grown cynical, sarcastic, even bitter. The years showed less harshly on Castiel. But he was even quieter than before, frequently emotionally distant, and much slower to trust others. In fact, the only angels he truly trusted were his commander Anna, another angel in their unit named Uriel, and most of all Balthazar. But he had retained his honesty, optimism, and the immense compassion that Balthazar swore would one day be the death of him. However, they could not shake the reputation they had from being raised by the absent archangel, nor the one they had earned for themselves. They could be obedient little soldiers on a good day, but there were frequent occasions where one or the other (or sometimes both) would get both of them into trouble by somehow messing things up.

"But not today!" proclaimed Balthazar as he and Castiel left a wary-eyed Anna and Michael behind them. "Today, absolutely nothing will go wrong!"  
"You said that the last three times, and look what happened," Castiel pointed out.  
"That was before, today is a new day, brother!" said Balthazar.  
"You said that too..." muttered Castiel.  
It was the late eighteenth century, the American colonies were rebelling against mother England, and Balthazar and Castiel had miraculously been trusted to go speak with some pagan gods about some unruly angels of theirs.  
"Look, all we have to do is talk to them, it'll be a breeze," said Balthazar.  
"I'm just surprised we're having to talk to pagan gods about their unruly angels and it's not pagan gods having to come talk to Michael about the pair of us," Castiel said.  
"Ah, don't be like that, Cas, you're such a buzz-kill when you get like that," Balthazar groaned.  
"If you're going to say I'm 'in a mood' again..." Castiel said, rolling his eyes.  
"Damn right, I'm going to say that. And it's not fair of you to be in one of your moods because that means _I'll_ end up doing all the talking and we both know how that will end," said Balthazar.  
Castiel scowled.  
"I'm just tired of Michael glaring anytime we're in the same room as him."  
"Yes, that is a bit annoying, isn't it... but then again, he's always been a bit of a prick..."  
"Balthazar!" said Castiel warningly, glancing over his shoulder as though the archangel was still in earshot.  
"Oh, don't get your wings in a knot, Cas," said Balthazar. "Come on, it's time to hop heavens."  
"Don't you dare ditch me for Olympus again," Castiel warned.  
"That was one time! I think you're just jealous because Aphrodite fancied me," said Balthazar.  
"I highly doubt that," said Castiel.  
And with that, he vanished in a flapping of wings, Balthazar joining him just a moment later. They landed outside an enormous pair of double doors. No one seemed to be there.  
"Do you think we should knock?" Balthazar wondered.  
Castiel shrugged and raised a hand to knock on the door, but froze very suddenly as he felt something sharp between his shoulder blades.  
"Turn around slowly," a voice said behind them.  
Castiel and Balthazar exchanged a glance and turned, their hands in the air to show they were unarmed. Standing in front of them was a female angel with a spear in her hands, now pointed directly at Castiel's heart.  
"State your names, purpose, and who sent you," she demanded.  
"My name is Castiel, this is Balthazar. We were sent by the archangel Michael to speak with your gods about some angels that were causing trouble," said Castiel.  
"I certainly hope you weren't among them," Balthazar added.  
Castiel stomped on his foot, earning him a glare. The other angel lowered her spear.  
"Ah yes, I was told he would be sending someone. I just expected the messenger of your great God to be someone a bit more... grandiose," she said.  
"Yes well, our Messenger has sort of been missing for the last few hundred centuries," snapped Balthazar.  
Castiel groaned in exasperation but the other angel looked at Balthazar quizzically.  
"What do you mean, missing?" she asked.  
"Meaning he skipped out on us," Balthazar replied bitterly. "Can we just talk to your boss now?"  
"Right, sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I'll lead you to him right away," the angel said quickly.  
She pushed open the doors and led them inside.  
"What was that about, Balthazar? This is not the time to get emotional," Castiel hissed as they followed a few paces behind the other angel.  
"Well I'm sorry I can't just shut off my emotions whenever I want like you can," said Balthazar.  
"Maybe you should let me do the rest of the talking," said Castiel.  
"Yes, good idea, maybe you should since I'll probably just screw it up," Balthazar muttered, turning away from Castiel.  
They followed in silence for the rest of the time. Finally, they stopped outside a large door.  
"He's inside," said the angel. "I'll be waiting here to escort you back to the gates."  
"Thank you," said Castiel, then he knocked on the door.  
"Enter," said a deep voice.  
The two brothers stepped inside the room, closing the door behind them. A tall god sat at a desk covered in books, a goblet of wine in his hand.  
"Ah, and you must be the messengers from Michael. I'll admit, you're not quite what I expected," he said, setting down his goblet.  
"We've heard," said Balthazar, unable to restrain himself.  
Castiel cast him a glare, then turned back to the god.  
"We are here to discuss the matter of your angels who were causing trouble in one of our Father's temples on Earth," he said.  
"Ah yes, terribly sorry about that..."

About ten minutes later, Castiel and Balthazar emerged from the room, the negotiation handled smoothly. As promised, the angel was waiting just outside the door.  
"Everything go as planned?" she asked.  
"Better actually," said Castiel.  
"Very good," she said with a smile.  
She led them back outside the gates.  
"Thank you," said Castiel with a little nod.  
He and Balthazar turned to leave, but she placed a hand on Balthazar's arm and he turned back to look at her.  
"I really am sorry about earlier. I didn't realize what I said would upset you that way," she said.  
"It's fine. Honest mistake," said Balthazar. "I just... let my emotions get away with me. It won't happen again."  
"Just don't bottle them all up, you'll go mad. Let it out occasionally," the angel advised.  
Balthazar smiled a little.  
"Thanks."  
"No problem," she replied. "Oh, and my name is Selyn, by the way."  
"Pleasure to meet you, Selyn," said Balthazar with a little bow. "Until next time."  
He turned to Castiel and the pair of them returned to heaven.


	10. Chapter 10 – 1985

**Chapter 10 – 1985**

Hundreds of years came and went, the world changed and grew and evolved, and Gabriel changed along with it. So many centuries playing the part of the Trickster had hardened him. He'd always played his tricks on the deserving douchebags of the world, but as time went on, he started to get desensitized to them and his tricks became harsh to the point of being punishments. He always had a slightly deprecating sense of humor, but he seemed to be sinking toward a brand new low.

The year was 1985 and the place was a little town called Ojai in California. Gabriel had recently finished taking care of some pedophile in upstate New York and thought it was about time he took a few days off. He'd heard about a concert in Ojai with some rock band that was just starting out and thought that might be a good way to unwind, so he teleported into town the night before and found himself a motel.

The next day, Gabriel headed to the park where the concert was taking place. It turned out he needed a ticket to actually get into the concert, so he found a bench on a little hillside where he could hear the music and get a little view of the stage. He could easily have teleported into the concert, but there was always the chance someone would notice him appearing out of nowhere and he really didn't want to cause any trouble that day, so he was content with his bench. A few songs into the show, a young woman with curly brown hair came up the hill.  
"Hey, um... do you mind if I join you?" she asked.  
"Not at all," said Gabriel, making room for her on the bench.  
"Thanks," she said. "My name's Amber, by the way."  
"I'm... Gabe," said Gabriel, picking the safest moniker for the situation.  
"Nice to meet you," Amber said with a smile. "Hey, would you like a sandwich? My friend flaked on me so I've got an extra."  
"That'd be great, thanks," Gabriel said.  
"I hope you like strawberry jam," said Amber, pulling two brown bags out of her purse.  
"I love it!" said Gabriel.  
He took the bag she offered him and they fell silent for a while, eating their sandwiches and listening to the band play. They soon started talking again and Gabriel found himself taking a liking to her, something he hadn't really given himself the luxury of doing for years.  
"What d'you say to going and getting a drink together after the show's over?" he offered.  
"I'd love that. It's been ages since anyone's asked me out for a drink," said Amber.

When the show ended, Gabriel and Amber walked into town. The sun was going down and the street lamps were starting to flicker into life, and Gabriel felt more normal than he had in centuries.  
"So, I only just got into town yesterday... know any good bars?" he asked.  
"Oh yeah, the Village Jester's pretty good," Amber suggested.  
"Sounds good to me," said Gabriel, trying to ignore the irony in the place's name.  
They went to the bar and found a table. Gabriel bought them both drinks and they settled down to chat.  
"You say you only just came to town yesterday, but if you came for the concert, you'd have bought tickets," said Amber, eying him over the top of her glass.  
"Well, I did come for the concert, but it was sort of a last-minute decision," said Gabriel. "I'm a bit of a, uh... wanderer, I guess you could say. Never really stay anywhere for long. I've stayed in places for a few years before, but usually I'm only around for a couple of weeks before I'm off again."  
"You seem to live like you're homeless but you've obviously got some sort of job or you couldn't have bought me a drink," Amber said. "So what do you do?"  
Gabriel shrugged.  
"Odd jobs here and there, whatever I can pick up someplace. Sometimes it's just hustling if I'm only gonna be around for a few days."  
"And... how long are you planning on staying in Ojai?" asked Amber.  
"I haven't decided yet," replied Gabriel.  
He stared at her a moment before taking a drink. They fell to talking about other things for a while – movies and traveling and The Beatles... Gabriel had just bought them another round when Amber brought their first subject back.  
"But don't you ever get tired of just hopping around from town to town? Have you never thought about settling down, or visiting your family? Or... sorry, have you, uh... have you got any family?" she asked.  
"Yeah, I've got family... I just... I ran away a long time ago and, well... I didn't leave on the best terms so going home is sorta out of the question..." said Gabriel. "And yeah, I guess I do get tired of wandering sometimes. I still get homesick, even though it's been years. I tried settling down once but... well, it didn't work out... sometimes I wonder if maybe... I could try to stay someplace again..."  
He trailed off and dropped his gaze to the glass in front of him. Amber reached across the table and gently placed her hand on his.  
"I'm sorry you miss your family," she said. "I don't know how much it would help but... you can stay with me while you're here in Ojai. I've got a spare room in my apartment. That way you don't have to pay for a motel. And maybe then it'll be a little less lonely. For both of us."  
Gabriel looked up at her and smiled.  
"Thanks, Amber. I'd like that," he said.

Gabriel had never been sure how long he'd stay in Ojai. But after about a week of staying with Amber in her apartment, he was starting to think it might be one of his lengthier stops. Amber's decision to let him stay with her had been made after a few drinks and four hours of acquaintance, so a lot of her friends and family were appalled, especially when they found out that Gabriel was basically a homeless nomad. Gabriel was determined to dissuade them from their first impressions of him. But what happened at the end of the second week would probably only convince them all more.

Gabriel and Amber were having a couple of beers after dinner that weekend and just talking when Amber brought up her parents.  
"You know, they all think you seduced me or something," she said.  
"Seriously?" said Gabriel.  
"Yeah. They legitimately think we're fucking," Amber said.  
"Wow... have you got some sorta reputation or do they just think I'm a sleazy bastard?" Gabriel asked.  
"Bit of both, I suppose," Amber shrugged, taking a drink.  
"Seriously?" Gabriel said again. "You've got a reputation? _You?_"  
"Hey, I've hooked up before," said Amber, mildly defensive.  
"No I don't doubt it, I just... didn't realize your _parents_ would know about it," said Gabriel.  
"Yeah, they've, uh... caught me in bed a couple times..." Amber said.  
"That must've been awkward..." Gabriel mused.  
"What, you've never been walked in on before?" said Amber in surprise.  
"Nah, there was never anyone there to walk in on me," said Gabriel.  
"Well, there's no one here to walk in on us now either..." Amber said.  
"Yeah... wait," Gabriel said, eying her suspiciously. "Are you...?"  
"Oh come on, Gabe, don't play innocent, I know you're far from it," teased Amber.  
"Girl, you've got no idea," said Gabriel with a smirk.  
"Then give me an idea," said Amber, setting down her beer bottle. "Come on, I've got a reputation to uphold."  
"And I've got a sleazy bastard reputation to solidify, I suppose," Gabriel replied.  
"Why not give my parents the satisfaction of being right?" said Amber, crawling across the sofa towards him.  
Gabriel grinned and closed the remaining distance between them, locking their lips together in a kiss. God, it'd been ages since Gabriel had kissed anyone like that. It felt good. It felt even better when Amber began to unbutton his shirt, nipping at his neck as they shed their clothes, tossing them onto the living room floor. Gabriel groaned with pleasure as she pinned him down; his hands were tangled in her hair as she kissed him again, each of them playing for dominance but at the same time, each giving in to the whims of the other.  
"You're certainly living up to your reputation, Amber," Gabriel murmured breathlessly.  
"I should hope so," Amber replied cheekily. "Now it's your turn."  
Gabriel smirked at her and, using an amount of strength he rarely allowed himself to show, flipped Amber onto her back.  
"I'm only just getting started, sweetheart," he said playfully.  
He kissed her again, a few times on the lips before making his way down her cheek to her neck. Amber's legs were wrapped around his waist. He had a hand in her hair and the other was behind her back, holding her close to him.  
The next morning, they woke up to the sun shining through the window at them. Their clothes were still scattered on the floor and they were tangled up together on the tiny sofa. This quickly became the new state of things and Gabriel and Amber awoke most mornings surrounded by their clothes and wrapped in each others arms.

Gabriel had been in Ojai nearly two months when Amber approached him one day, looking rather uncomfortable. He was immediately worried. Tentativeness was not a quality Amber possessed, and Gabriel had known this since the day they met.  
"Is everything okay, sweetheart?" he asked.  
"I've got something to tell you..." Amber said, sitting down next to him.  
"What is it?"  
"I... I'm pregnant," said Amber.  
Gabriel's stomach lurched unpleasantly.  
"Oh no..." he muttered.  
"I know, we're gonna have to tell my parents, it's gonna be a disaster..." Amber said.  
"No, it's not that, it's... oh, God..." Gabriel put a hand to his forehead, feeling sicker by the minute. "Amber, I've got a serious amount of explaining to do. Oh God, I'm such an idiot, I should've... how am I gonna explain this, you're never gonna believe me..."  
"Gabe, you know you can tell me anything. And if this has got something to do with the baby, then you're gonna have to tell me no matter what," said Amber, taking his hand.  
"Yeah, this has got everything to do with the baby," sighed Gabriel. "Look, Amber, I've never told you everything about my past, and there's a reason for that. It's because my past is quite a lot longer than you'd expect from looking at me. Centuries longer. Millennia, actually."  
"Excuse me?" said Amber disbelievingly. "Gabe, are you drunk?"  
"No, I'm not," said Gabriel. "And my name's not really Gabe. Well, it is, sorta. Gabe is short for Gabriel. As in the archangel Gabriel."  
"Yeah, I know, your parents named you after him, right?" said Amber.  
"No. I _am_ him. I'm the archangel Gabriel."  
Amber stared at him.  
"Okay, no, I take it back. You're not drunk, you're insane!" she said, letting go of his hand.  
"No, I'm not. Please, Amber, I can prove it to you. It's important, for both of us and the baby," Gabriel pleaded.  
"Okay, prove it then" said Amber challengingly.  
Gabriel took a deep breath and stood up. He threw back his shoulders and flexed his wings for the first time in centuries, manipulating the lights in the room to show Amber the massive shadows of his wingspan on the apartment wall. Amber stared at him in shocked silence as Gabriel brought the lights back to normal and sat back down next to her.  
"So... you really are telling the truth..." she said at last.  
"Yes, I am," said Gabriel.  
"So it's all real, then? Heaven and angels and all that?" Amber asked.  
"All of it. But that's not important right now," replied Gabriel. "What's important is what it means for us and for the child."  
"What do you mean?" asked Amber.  
"Angels and humans aren't supposed to... mate. It's technically forbidden. But it's still possible, just not enough angels go rogue for it to happen very often," said Gabriel.  
"And what happens when angels and humans do mate?"  
"Well, I doubt anything will be done about it upstairs, I don't think it'll be anyone's top priority what I've gotten up to after all these years. But it will have an effect on the baby," Gabriel said.  
"What kind of effect? It won't have wings or something, will it?" said Amber fearfully.  
"No, physically it'll seem like any normal child. But it'll be more powerful," Gabriel explained. "When an angel and a human procreate, the child is born a Nephilim. The child will be incredibly strong, maybe even more so than a regular Nephilim might be since I'm an archangel rather than a seraph. The child will also be much more durable against attack, though hopefully it'll never have to test that. But the thing is, if anyone in Heaven, any of my brothers and sisters, found out about this child, it'll be seen as an abomination. Not just because it's the child of their runaway brother but because it's the product of a union that they believe should never happen."  
"So what do we do?" whispered Amber.  
"Nothing. I've spent over a thousand years on earth and no one in Heaven has come after me. I doubt they'd do it now. And even if they did, I wouldn't let them touch you," said Gabriel.  
"And what about the baby? Do you think it's an abomination too?" Amber asked, a tear rolling down her cheek.  
"Of course not. I could never ever think that," Gabriel said gently. "That baby is ours and I don't care if it's against the rules, I've been breaking rules my entire life. I'll protect our child to my dying breath, just as I'll protect you, Amber. I promise."

* * *

Author's Note: This is the last chapter I currently have finished, but I promise there is more coming! In the meantime, I will be posting another fic I've been working on, so enjoy my other stuff and keep an eye out for new chapters of this story, because I promise they will come when I have the time and inspiration!


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